The Communications Breakdown Formula: What It Is and What You Can Do to Ensure a Positive Outcome in Your Business Communications

The Communications Breakdown Formula: What It Is and What You Can Do to Ensure a Positive Outcome in Your Business Communications

by Cathleen Elise Rossiter

mikegwaltney.net

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” 
― Henry Winkler

Moving parts break down. The more moving parts that are components of a process, the greater the chances are the process will break down, with increased frequency.

Sometimes, the parts of a process are not tangible, as in the process of communication. Communication is, however, a rather complicated process. It is also something we rarely consider. Sadly, because of this lack of consideration, we needlessly cause the process to breakdown on an all-too-frequent basis.

Let’s take a look at the moving parts involved in the act of communicating something in our thoughts to someone else. The process looks something like this:

Within each step of the process, there are endless combinations of components working together which produce a particular result. This result then triggers the next step in the communication process with its own set of variables working to produce a particular result. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. For example, when you have your thought or feeling, the following influences are hard at work within you and play an important part in the outcome of the step in the process, therefore the process as a whole, whether you realize it or not:

For each stage in the communication process, these factors are active, moving components. Add to this the same active, moving components for the other person (or persons) in the communication process and you have stacks of layered, moving parts just itching to breakdown.

 We are, however, not finished.

Added to the layers of moving parts, you have external influences and the particular circumstances surrounding the particular act of communicating. An example of these external influences (again, there are infinite combinations of factors available) might look like this:

Oftentimes, each external influence has multiple gears churning to produce complex influences on the other sets of churning gears along each step of the process.  With layers upon layers of spinning, interconnected wheels, each of which influences the others, it is clear to see why communications regularly and readily break down. When put into an equation, we get:

((Your Motives + Assumptions + Emotional State and-or Experiences) x (Other Party’s Motives + Assumptions + Emotional State and-or Experiences)) x External Circumstances = the Degree of Communication Break-Down

In other words, the sum of your motives, assumptions, and emotional state, multiplied by the sum of the other party’s motives, assumptions, and emotional state, all multiplied by external circumstances determines how smoothly the communication process runs and to what degree, if any, the process breaks down. If all parties’ motives, assumptions, and emotional states are healthy, positive, and similar – and the external influences are not placing undue stress on the situation – then the communication process runs smoothly, clearly, and efficiently.

If, on the other hand, one party has (or all parties have) ulterior motives due to poor past experiences in this type of situation, thereby placing them in a compromised emotional state with certain assumptions about how things will proceed or prejudices against the other parties, combined with external factors that are stressing the communication excessively, then the communication process is broken from the beginning and gets worse through each successive step.

Knowing the basics of the communication process and the various factors that cause it to collapse gives you a well-stocked tool box to rely on in order to keep your communications in top working condition. The following questions will help clear the gunk from the mechanisms of communication:

• Have you kept fully aware of your motives for communicating, feelings about what you are communicating, and assumptions about the people involved or the situation?

• Do you have a reasonable grasp on the motives, feelings, and assumptions of the other people involved in the specific communication process?

• Do you understand what all of the external influences are and the effects that these external influences have on the communication process? 

• If you answered, “No” to any of the above questions, how do you propose gaining the understanding you need to communicate effectively?

• Once you can answer, “Yes” to all the questions above, what do see as the most effective way to communicate your message in light of what you know? 

In other words, how can you eliminate or correct misconceptions, redirect ulterior motives, alleviate concerns and stress, and set limits on the control that external influences have on the communication of your message? The more familiar you become with the components and potential weak points in the communication process, the more adept you will become in keeping these areas cleaned and strengthened to prevent breakdowns and sticking points. Although this can be arduous in the beginning, the more you do it, the more it becomes like breathing. Like any fitness regimen, the more you partake, the better you feel and the results are well worth it.

If you have any suggestions for readers as to how you eliminate barriers to communication please add them in the comments below or e-mail me at BespokeWritingSolutions@Gmail.com. You can always tweet me at @CathleenElise with your contributions.

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Critical Faults: To Make a Solid First Impression, It’s Essential to Find and Face Your Faults

Critical Faults: To Make a Solid First Impression, It’s Essential to Find and Face Your Faults

by Cathleen Elise Rossiter

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”

― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Imagine that you are about to meet the most important person of your life – well, at least of the year. You would probably spend as much time as is available before this epic meeting preparing what you will wear, how you will present yourself, what you will open with and how the conversation will go. Most likely, you will run through your list of personal aspects that you feel need work or do not project your best self and figure out a way to conceal them. You will leave nothing to chance in your quest to present the perfect image, a visually breath-taking and substantive experience for this important person.

You will do everything in your power to be memorable.

Now, imagine that this meeting is to take place in writing. What would you do? Would you give this meeting the same consideration?

Throughout your workday, this scenario plays out with every correspondence you send. Every e-mail, every form letter, every sticky note you tack onto someone’s computer screen. What we too often fail to recognize is that with every word we write, we are impressing upon the minds of the recipients of our written words what type of person we are – whether we are intelligent, thoughtful, or detail-oriented; whether we know what we are talking about or have no idea (even if we think we hide it well); whether we are someone who can lead, follow, or blunder our way through the work entrusted to us. Because we fail to recognize the importance of the written impression we leave, we inevitably make ourselves memorable in the minds of our clients and co-workers for all the wrong reasons.

The best way I have found to counter this is to get to know the areas of writing (vocabulary, spelling, grammar) in which I excel and, most importantly, the areas which cause me the most trouble. By knowing my weaknesses, I can then focus on a literary strength-training program to make sure I present my best self and am able to clearly, effectively communicate my message. For example, it is no secret that I am no National Spelling Bee champion. Therefore, I make certain to put extra effort into making sure I have no spelling errors (I know … I have just doomed myself to at least one in this article).

Knowing the spots on the road to a solid first impression (or any one thereafter) that are potential dangers, which may leave us hurtling off a cliff to our certain death is critical in order to prevent such needless accidents. Once you make it a habit to keep your eyes open for the danger signs, you will be able to anticipate trouble and take the necessary measures to prevent catastrophe. You will become adept at making a solid positive impression in print every time.

 If you have any suggestions for readers as to how you make a great first impression (or second, third, or fortieth) please add them in the comments below or e-mail me at BespokeWritingSolutions@Gmail.com. You can always tweet me at @CathleenElise with your contributions.

 

Checklist to Success: 10 Essentials for Making Your Best 1st Impression (In Print Every Time)

Checklist to Success: 10 Essentials for Making Your Best 1st Impression (In Print Every Time)

by Cathleen Elise Rossiter

“A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.”

– Arthur Golden

 

First impression. What was the first thing you felt when you read those two words? For a great many people, their immediate reaction is one of dread, fear, doubt. First impressions are powerful things because they set the tone for all future encounters. For those of us who are confident in who we are and what we have to offer, first impressions are no big deal. For the rest of us, we need all the help we can get in order not to stumble about trying to get out of our own way. When you add the fact that your first impression will be in writing, forever etched in the fabric of the universe, the anxiety factor increases exponentially.

With that in mind, I have put together a simple written-first-impressions checklist for anytime you need to focus on the course to victory or, in other words, want to knock someone’s socks off in writing.

1. Know if there are any specific style requirements to the writing. Is this an academic paper that would require certain ways of formatting the text or citing sources? Perhaps a scientific presentation – adhering to the specific style needs of your audience is the best way to show how much you respect them and want to communicate in their language.
2. Avoid using jargon, slang, and other forms of exclusive language that only insiders would know and understand. Again, eliminating barriers to your message is the surest way to make sure anyone who reads your e-mail or other writing will receive your message in all its glorious clarity. If you simply must use industry-related jargon, be certain to explain it initially because you never know who will read what you have written. Just be careful not to cross the line into the territory of patronization, as this will only detract from the splendor of the positive first impression you are trying to make.
3. Have you chosen the best word for the job? Expand and elevate your vocabulary. The more words you have in your arsenal, the more closely you will come to hitting your target with bull’s-eye.
4. Is your grammar correct? Know the rules of writing well and master them. Once you know how to write according to the rules, you will know when and how to break them to have the greatest effect in getting your message across clearly.
5. Are any words misused or misspelled? Never rely on Spell Check. Spell Check cannot tell you that you have written “lice” instead of “nice” because you spelled lice correctly. Be tireless in your efforts at eliminating mistakes because mistakes, particularly in spelling and word use, destroy any credibility you have worked so hard to establish. It does not matter that everyone knows that everyone makes mistakes. Written mistakes will ruin your image.
6. Does your writing demonstrate that you are the authority on the subject (or at least that you know your stuff as it were)? What better way to make a great first impression than to prove that you have solid value to contribute. Don’t be afraid of what you know or what people will say if you show it. As the saying goes, “those who matter won’t mind and those that mind don’t matter”.
7. Have you given yourself permission to write freely (at first)? Your first draft should be written freely, quickly, with your inner editor shut off. This is the best way to get everything out and on the page. It does not matter if it makes sense or is not perfect. The editing phase will take care of that later.
8. Have you used your manners? Good manners always impress. You can never make a bad impression using good manner. Make sure that you know the manners of your audience and follow proper etiquette. A great place to start for a U.S.-based business audience is with Emily Post.
9. Have you edited ruthlessly? Is your writing tight, concise, crystal-clear? If you find a word, phrase, anything that is not essential and does not move your reader forward toward your goal, cut it out. Here is where you pay particular attention to errors in word usage and spelling as well as meaning and how your writing will be interpreted? If something you write could cause confusion or misunderstanding, re-work it until there is no confusion or misunderstanding. A great tip is to read your writing aloud and/or to another person. The sound of what you have written quickly reveals trouble spots.
10. Have you written in your own voice? The best way to make a great first impression is to be yourself. There is no one else like you in this world, so by being yourself, you will always be unique, a refreshing surprise. The instant you try to be someone else is the instant you cease to captivate your audience.

 

Perhaps the best way to make a great first impression is to simply do your best at every given moment and let that be enough.

If you have any suggestions for readers as to how you make a great first impression (or second, third, or fortieth) please add them in the comments below or e-mail me at BespokeWritingSolutions@Gmail.com. You can always tweet me at @CathleenElise with your contributions.

 

Know Thyself: The 1st Step to Making an Unforgettable Impression

Know Thyself: The 1st Step to Making an Unforgettable Impression

by Cathleen Elise Rossiter

“What makes a child gifted and talented may not always be good grades in school, but a different way of looking at the world and learning.” – Chuck Grassley

 It’s late in the afternoon. I have just come back from a long lunch with a childhood friend and, as I sit down to write, my original topic of discussion takes a back seat to the issues I now feel compelled to put before you.

After the preliminary catch-up chat, we began filling each other in on various mutual friends and others in our lives. The predominant theme in the lives of each of these unconnected, unrelated people was that of settling for less than they deserved (in several instances, settling for abusive situations) out of fear of being left behind or of desperation  all relating to a feeling of being less-than-worthy of anything better. Between the friends who were enticed across the country with hearts-and-flowers-promises of a life with Mr. Right that turned out to be anything but hearts and flowers, to children struggling to find their niche as they enter the world of adulthood, to families’ lives turned inside-out and upside-down by infidelity and a retreat into selfishness, all these circumstances are fueled by each individual’s feeling of worthlessness.

Our sense of Self determines a great many things in our lives because whether we realize it or not, we project our sense of Self (or how we feel we deserve to be viewed and treated) to those around us. Be it on-line, on the telephone, or in person, we communicate to others how they should treat us.

In the business world, I see this all the time. Why is it that some people are singled out for praise and advancement while others are victims of office bullying and career stagnation? It’s the signals we give off unconsciously.

If you want to make an unforgettable impression on those you encounter in the course of your day – a positive, knock-your-socks-off impression -, take time to get to know yourself. If you do not know your own value, you cannot communicate that value to anyone else. If you are not communicating value, therefore respect, you are telling people that you have no value, therefore do not deserve respect.

This month, ask yourself the hard questions about how you feel about yourself and what that says to the world at large. Ask yourself the hard questions about your career and the work you do. Ask yourself the hard questions about what you need to do to change the impression you make, therefore the treatment you receive. Here are a few to get you started:

1. (This might seem obvious, but) “How do I feel about myself?” – What do you like about yourself? What do you not like about yourself? Why do you feel this way? Give reasons. Be honest. Name them. Write them down. Don’t be shy. You may want to go so far as to frame them to remind yourself that you are important enough to merit a picture frame, that you are valuable enough to display (even if, to start, that means in a place only you can see).

2. Now that you know how you feel about yourself, ask yourself, “What are the signals that I send that tell others to feel the same way about me? How am I telling people to treat me the way I treat myself?”

3. Once you know what you do not like about yourself, ask, “What characteristics about me do I want to work on improving?” Again, give reasons. Be honest. Name them. Write them down, and don’t be shy. This exercise will only benefit you. The better you know yourself, the better you will be able to project your awesomeness (to use a favorite Bostonian term) to those with whom you come in to contact.

Once you start asking questions and searching for the honest answers, then make a plan and commit to making the changes necessary for reaching your goal of knowing the value you bring to the equation, that you are worthy of respect, you will see that you continually improve the great impression you leave on the people in your life. You will see that people, for the most part, will treat you better and that opportunities previously closed to you will now be open to you. Of course, the positive reaction of others to the change in you is dependent upon their openness and willingness to see you differently. Regardless, your new-found confidence in yourself will no longer be dependent upon anyone else’s opinion.

 

5 Signs You’re Sending the Wrong message (and What to Do About It)

 

 

by Cathleen Elise Rossiter

“Defensiveness is usually someone silently screaming that they need you to value and respect them in disguise. When you look for deeper meanings behind someone’s pain you can then begin to heal not only yourself, but others.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

I am willing to lay odds that everyone reading this has, at one point or another thought you were communicating a certain message and were surprised by the message that the other party received. Think about the joke you once told that missed its mark and ended up offending the hearer. What about the memo you sent ahead of a major company change, the one that was meant to relieve worry and clear up speculation, only to have it increase stress and create more confusion?

You sent out the message feeling confident that you had written the most comprehensive piece of communication ever in the history of mankind. You were left screaming into the night, “What the HECK?” as you tried to deal with the barrage of questions and misunderstandings left in its wake.

How did this happen? Did an extra full moon sneak its way into the calendar? Did the chemical plant next door contaminate the drinking water? Is hell really freezing over? The chance that the answers to these practical questions are affirmative is rather slim. More than likely, you missed the Clear Communication Mark because you missed the signs along the way that would have kept you track as you composed your magnum opus.

Below, we get into the details of how to remedy the inevitable situation of miscommunication (it happens all the time) as we learn to recognize the signs that post themselves along the way when your attempts at clear communication are in danger of derailing. The following five signs for which I stay vigilant, have been faithful writing companions and guides keeping me ever on the right path to effective written communications. Let’s dive in, shall we?

1. You Don’t Know Where You Are Going – to use a little football parlance in honor of the upcoming Super Bowl, “If you don’t have a goal line, you can’t make a touchdown”. What is the purpose of what you are about to write? What result/s do you need from this piece of communication? What reaction or response do you need from those who read your message? Without knowing what you want and need from the message you are composing, you will never be able to send the right message, nor to have it understood. Do yourself and your readers a favor, know where you want to go and make a plan to get there as directly as possible. All of your pre-trip planning will pay off handsomely in the end.
2. You Have a One-Sided Perspective (“It’s My Way or the Highway”) – either you have no understanding of the reader’s point of view or experiences regarding your message, or you don’t care. Neither of these scenarios will help you to communicate your message effectively nor will they elicit the response you are looking for once you have sent your message. Without getting to know all sides of the issues involved in the message you want to deliver, you will not be able to connect your readers with your message, therefore, you will be misunderstood. The best way to counter this potential road hazard is to list the five core questions that your readers will ask and must have answered regarding your message and place them in the order in which they will be asked logically. Next, write the answers next to the questions. Finally, incorporate this list into your message road map.
3. You Have Gotten Off-Track Irrevocably – oftentimes it is difficult to remain calm and collected while writing about a topic for which we care deeply. In this situation, it is easy to find ourselves taking roads we never intended and end up lost in the dark with no way to get back to the main road safely. Sometimes we catch the self-inflicted detour quickly enough to take corrective measures. For those times when we have written ourselves onto a dark, deserted cow-path, take out your message road map to see where you got off track, cut out the detour, and start fresh from just before you took the wrong turn. Go through the Five Questions and Answers as a guide to get you back on focus. Pro Tip: whatever words or phrases you remove from the message, save them on an open WordDoc labeled with the message headline in the event that you can use it later or use it as a follow-up message for more discussion and clarification. I have learned that if the message ends up on paper, somehow it is something that needs to be addressed.
4. You Are Clouding the Message, Cluttering It with Too Much Talk and Empty Words – in business communications, it is far too easy to get-our-lazy-on by littering our e-mails and other writings with jargon and Office Speak as a way to fill up space (longer is more impressive, right?) and sound in-the-know. What we fail to realize is that jargon is the instrument of the insecure, the novice, the immature. Jargon puts labels on the people to whom we are trying to communicate and the work they do. Jargon puts distance between the author and the reader and sets the tone for how the message is received [read more here]. The best remedy for clouded windows or clutter of any kind is to clean it up. Take out your proverbial window cleaner and construction-grade trash bags and start clearing out the garbage, washing the windows that allow your message to be seen clearly. This is where you need to be objective and read from the point of view of the person to whom you are writing. Read it out loud. As you hear the words and phrases, you will discover the areas that your reader will stumble on or misconstrue. Get rid of all jargon, replacing it with your own words to show your understanding of the topic, which gives you credibility and increases your authority on the topic.
5. You are Trying to Be Too Diplomatic – few things derail a message faster than trying to please everyone, in another word – meekness. As a writer, it is your responsibility to lead the story, to guide the reader on the journey to the destination for which you set out together. If you do not take charge of the vehicle – your message – you and your readers will end up hurling yourselves off a cliff to crash and burn in a fiery mess at the base of the canyon. Trying to drive down the center of the road guarantees that traffic will hit you at some point. Keep your message simple, direct, and authoritative while guiding the reader through the five core questions to the message’s final destination.

A bonus road sign that I constantly heed is to

r15-8 -All images on this page © Richard C. Moeur. All rights reserved

 

My method for looking both ways when I write is to:

• Look Left by reviewing my various drafts, editing for grammar, structure, pace, and that all of the reader’s five questions have been answered as they naturally arise in the message.
• Look Right by re-reading my final draft aloud to make certain that I have followed my message road map and cleared away anything cluttering the roadway.
• Look Left again by making sure I have written with the appropriate authority and passion that will allow the reader to hear my message as I intended.

 

Writing effectively may take some time at first and feel awkward. You will become impatient with the process the first few times you employ it since our multi-tasking mentality will tell you that you are wasting time. Do not listen to that voice nor give in to the temptation to cut corners if you want to be certain that your message is heard correctly. Cutting corners in sending messages only results in exponentially more work and wasted time when you have to down-shift into clean-up mode. I promise, once you get the hang of it, watching for and obeying the communication road signs above will become as easy as breathing and make your life more enjoyable in the elimination of a host of hassles.